shit | list

It’s been a lovely week on the work front. The man caught me working three times and only on WordPress twice and so I think we’re in cahoots again.

Today he emailed me to let me know he will be late. At that moment, I got a call from finance. It was a tumultuous conversation at best and so afterwards, I replied to his email with the following:

I just got yelled at by the budget coordinator for ##########. She asked me why we need draft invoices and after I explained why she said NO and to please stop asking. So I said FINE and she said have a blessed day. But I don’t think she meant it.

And then the man asked me her name and I didn’t know her name. And so I called the other budget coordinator to get the name because now I’m efficient and get shit done. And so i get the name and email the man and he replies with the following:

Ok – she’s officially on the shit list

I don’t know what it was but my heart melted. Like, awwwww. Now, she very well may be on the shit list because she doesn’t want to send us draft invoices or maybe she is on the shit list because she told me to have a blessed day but didn’t mean it. Either way, I feel like we’re a team again and this pleases me so.

I’m really inspired to get caught working again this week. It makes me feel good and accomplished.

P.S. Dear the Man. If you are reading this, please know that I really like and respect you and I’m posting this right now because I’m drinking my Starbucks and this is obviously my lunch time.

cooking with | dis chick

Before Charlene left me, she taught me how to use the oven. It was an exhilarating experience to say the least and now I always use it. Even when the directions say I shouldn’t. However, despite the extensive lesson we had, she didn’t teach me everything, which is fine because I like learning on my own. And so I share with you a small tidbit I picked up while making some waffle fries for dinner.

When you pre-heat it at 450 degrees and then it beeps that it’s properly preheated, do not, I repeat DO NOT, under any circumstances, touch the metal in the oven without a mitt specifically made for oven use. Because it’s hot in there. Auschwitz hot. And don’t be like “Hey, Dee. You’re a dumbass. That’s not true.” It is true. The blister will prove it.

You should also have an oven-friendly cooking dish. It will save you the trouble of having to pick up waffle fries off the floor because you put them on tin foil and were too stupid to take them out the proper way. I’m not trying to make you feel bad here. I’m just trying to help.

You’re welcome.