Tag Archives: celebrities

madonna makes friends with photoshop

Like most people, I derive joy from other people’s misery. And so what? Is it really so wrong to build my self esteem on the backs of before pictures? It’s better than talking shit about people, eh?

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Filed under douche | baggery

matt damon ruins my life

Matt Damon won’t be returning to the Bourne franchise, saying he wants “a simple little human story. Something like Good Will Hunting or soething that’s smaller like that.” The fourth film will be a prequel, starring someone new.

Wahhh. I don’t want to work out and look hot while driving really fast cars. Wahhh I don’t want to make my fans happy. Ugh. I hate when these actors don’t feel a sense of responsibility to me, like my needs don’t matter. If I wanted to feel like that, I’d move back in with my mother.

Source: Gawker

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<3 | sarah silverman

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Filed under not | redtube

anna wintour | phone number

annawintourphonenumber

It makes sense that Anna Wintour and Liza Minelli still have land lines. They’re old and perhaps need the phone line for their dial up.

Source.

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james franco | room destroyer

A few things

1) I hurt my neck today because I’ve been turning around to make sure The Man isn’t coming while I’m not working. It was all in vain as he didn’t even say hello to me as we passed in the halls. I’m thinking its me.

2) I love James Franco. He is currently getting his MFA at Columbia U and I really wanted to meet him. And so I devised an elaborate stalking manifesto in which I described in intense detail how I would “accidentally” run into him and we’d chat and naturally he would realize we are meant to be.

3) But then I read in Page Six how he is annoyed with the freshman girls who gawk at him while he is working in the library and I decided my glorious plan would have to be put on hold. If we are meant to be, we will be.

4) I wish someone would let me destroy a room. I always want to destroy mine, especially when I can’t find something. And I used to break shit all the time when I was angry but then I grew older and realized that hey, this is my shit and I have to pay to replace it. So now I don’t destroy anything but my mental health.

5) Good times.

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bill corgan | insane

tila-tequila

I don’t understand what’s going on here. Are they together? Or is he just shopping around for a new STD? I want to know.

I hate this Tila Tequila girl. Sure, she’s hot in that Hep C way but not the type you bring outside. But then again, I’m not a man and so I probably don’t understand the appeal. Ugh. Billy Corgan – you are dead to me. Not that you were ever alive to me but I thought we shared an understanding that you keep the hoes in the closet and bring the classy lady on the carpet. Whatever. I’m over it. Not really.

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shamwow | hooker | beatdown

shamwow

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now that the Shamwow dude fucked up this hooker who bit him. Well, this is what he did to her. And that’s what you get for biting.

I don’t know whether its because I don’t have a heart or simply just don’t care about people but I feel nothing when I see this. It’s like, okay whatever. You’re a hooker. It’s part of the job. Deal with it. Prosecutors feel the same way because no charges have been filed.

Saw it here.

shamwow1

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