manboy | vaginas

breakupplate

There is something amiss in the drinking water. It has affected males aged 25-35 along the Eastern Seaboard. Testicles are shrinking. Ovaries are growing. The result is an abundance of manboys. It is now an epidemic. Hide your daughters.

Or inform them.

If you see a man with a pussy, stay away. He is no good. He may be of age to drink, smoke and have a job but on the inside, he has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old girl. Except the girl is more mature. 5-year-olds are obnoxiously honest while manboys are just obnoxious. Both like to run around in circles but when asked about this running, the 5-year old will tell you she is playing Duck, Duck Goose with a ghost. The manboy will stutter uncontrollably and then just say “uh, uh, uh, I dunno.” The 5-year-old isn’t afraid of anything – honesty, heights or expired milk. The manboy is afraid of everything, particularly honesty. More stuttering ensues.

The worst part is that manboys have accepted their status as peons while 5-year-old girls are eager to grow. They will tell you things like “I am 5 years old, 7 months and 6 days old which means I’m 6.” Manboys will tell you things like “I know I’m almost 30 but I’m still a kid.” Since when did it become acceptable to be so comfortable in one’s own ineptness?

And if you read the previous post, you will know that I write this on behalf of my love for another. I’ve unfortunately encountered these deformed species but to me, they are not worth a sentence. Not even a fragment. But for my friend – they are worth four paragraphs and a weekend in the slammer. Sorry officer but I didn’t realize I’m not allowed to throw bricks at people. Why yes, the cave I live in is quite spacious.

Grow up, boys. You repulse me more than fat people in white bathing suits.

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under douche | baggery, mi | vida

5 responses to “manboy | vaginas

  1. I knew I should have dumped the white Speedo. I am going back to my mauve thong.

  2. Yana

    Despicable!!!! and thats a compliment.. fat people in white, multi color and whale color bathing suits would agree! I love you D!

  3. Manboys!?? Shrinking testicles? Growing ovaries and fat people in white bathing suits…?

    When are you young people going to learn? It’s a god damned disgrace.

    Respectfully,

    Donald

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s