fuck you | smokers


Jamie emails me this morning.

Let’s quit smoking together tomorrow she says.

I says, I quit every day. Then I send her a detailed email about how that works.

And then I send her another email. I want to encourage her, you know. See below.

Smoking is actually really gross and unattractive. We do it bc were addicted but the truth is that we weren’t born smokers. The reason u feel u need to smoke after a meal or sex is bc ur addicted. People who don’t smoke don’t have those urges and so obviously its not a natural thing. You are programmed to believe you need it. The only reason u think ur stressed out and need a cig is bc ur body needs the nicotine. Non smokers don’t feel this way. It doesn’t help u concentrate either. The only reason u can’t concentrate is bc ur body needs nicotine. It takes 3 days to detox from the withdrawals. If u think like a non smoker, these pains will be minimal. We’ve all been in situations where we can’t smoke. Do we die? No. And so its all mental. The withdrawals are the easy part. Its the brain and fear. Once u realize how great life is without smoking, u won’t need to do it.

I am outside smoking.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

If you or anyone you know wants to quit smoking, I highly recommend Allen Carr’s “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” I know a lot of people who quit smoking after reading it because quitting smoking is easy. I just haven’t done it because I’m a loser with extreme self control issues and mental deficiencies. But don’t do what I do. Instead do what I say. Stop being a loser and quit smoking today. You will feel much better if you do.



Filed under fuck you | fuckery, mi | vida

12 responses to “fuck you | smokers

  1. Jamie

    Thank God i am surrounded by Barnes and Nobles here…i gotta speed read tonight, b/c if you say it is the number 1 book, it MUST be the Truth!

  2. Jamie

    oh and i will be running the BnN with a cig in hand

  3. I have quit smoking a lot. The last time I smoked (& no, I don’t do it when I am pregnant or around my kids who have NO idea I have ever smoked) was November 2006.

    I am roughly 100 lbs overweight and want a cigaretter everday. Fucking sucks. Fuck you skinny-ass smokers.

  4. i am on the supermodel diet. this consists of cigarettes, coffee and air. yes, im thin but im always so ugh. and good for you for not smoking!! it kills and your kiddies need you.

  5. Jamie

    Yes that chick is correct! I am proud of you and any body who can do it! This will be my first time trying at 30, so wish me luck. I fear that i will find out i am actually weak, and short to boot…well at least not a short as Zorha

  6. Jamie Spencer

    I really, really like smoking! I hate the stigma, the stench and the cost, but there’s just something about that silky smooth satisfaction enveloping your lungs….mmmm.
    I quit in June 2007 until June 2008 just to prove I had what it takes. I also had to quit drinking, otherwise I would have failed the first time I got even the slightest bit tipsy, and by tipsy I mean Shit Faced, because I don’t do anything half assed.

  7. Freddy

    I’m pretty sure you still have my copy of this book and you are immensely talented. Good day! Happy writing!

  8. Good luck quitters! I’ll get my second-hand smoke highs somewhere else.

  9. freddy – it is your book and it has helped many people. i carry it around with me at all times because…i dont know why. but at least i didnt loose it!! ❤ u.

  10. jamie – so do you smoke now?

  11. Jamie Spencer

    I do indeed. It got to a point where I just couldn’t stand not being able to drink anymore. That was the hardest part. I spent a whole year bailing on my friends whenever they wanted to go to the bar. Summer was especially hard b-cuz I have a pool at my place and I quit having parties and barbeques alltogether on account of not being able to have cold beers or margaritas and the like. Finally one day I just said “F- It, I proved I could do it”. So I caught a nice sunny day off work bought some beers, a pack of smokes and just chilled by the pool….it was bliss.

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