Today (last Monday), that chick I stalk was sitting in the center of Starbucks. She was wearing brown boots and a blue top. I didn’t really think it matched. She was also wearing a funky ring on her wedding ring finger and I briefly wondered if she was engaged to Elmo.
I don’t know why but I kept turning in her direction. Actually, I do know why. It’s because I’m stalking her. But then for some reason I stopped looking at her (some reason=taking notes) and when I turned back around, she was gone. I wondered how this could have possibly happened as I was writing at a ferocious speed. How did she manage to pack everything up so quickly? Was this chick magical, too? Did she house unicorns in her closet? Then I spotted her by the window and jotted that down. I now know to sit there so that we have greater chance of meeting.
Then that chick got a phone call. She looked angry and this made me angry. You’re fucking engaged to Elmo, you sit in Starbucks all day drinking coffee and writing. It is illegal for you to ever be in a bad mood. This ruffled my feathers for the duration of her call but then I simmered down. I was scaring the couple next to me with my excessive foot tapping and knuckle cracking.
All in all, it was a successful session. I learned that comfy couch seats are so 3 weeks ago and that it is suspicious to others when you sit in said comfy couch seat with a rope and heavy duty duct tape in your lap. However, I consider this all to be progress and I look forward to reporting on our next date.