Yesterday I suffered a terrible misfortune. My cable went out. I was left without TV and internet. While I no longer have the ability to feel panic and/or anxiety, I still felt a bit worried that I would have to spend time with myself without any substantial background noise. So I called the cable company despite knowing that it was a power outage. Sometimes I have hope. Even when I shouldn’t. So I call them and press some buttons and end up in the sales department. Joy.
Cable Person: Hi name is (I don’t give a fuck). How can I assist you today?
Me: My cable is out.
Cable Person: Oh, well that’s because there is a power outage. Let me look into your account.
Me: Okay. When will it be fixed?
Cable Person: Can I offer you a package of 24 additional channels for only $10?
Me: Will I be able to watch those tonight?
Cable Person: Uh, no.
Me: So you’re essentially trying to sell me something that in no way will alleviate the problem I am currently facing and calling about?
Cable Person: Wha…
Me: You’re telling me I’m going to have to spend unfiltered time with myself tonight. When will this be fixed?
Cable Person: I don’t know. We have our technicians out there as soon as the problem is reported. And it’s only $10 and 24 chan…
I ended up falling asleep at 10. The last time I experienced such a power outage, I was with someone. You would think that having company would help. But no, it only proves how little you have to say to one another. In conclusion, I hope my TV and internet never go out again.