Hello dear friends!
Sorry I haven’t been writing as much. It was a really busy summer and I just couldn’t pry myself away from the many engagements that required my attention. Please see below for list of engagements.
1) Quitting Smoking
Not smoking took up a lot of my time. Not only could I barely think of anything else besides the fact that I wasn’t smoking but I could barely talk about anything else. Ex: “If this were yesterday, I would be smoking right now.” “You know what I want? Yup. A cigarette.” “I love smoking and this quitting nonsense is just not fair.” It came to a point where I wanted to kick my own ass. Luckily for me, when I tried to become a smoker again with ‘just one cigarette’, I threw up all day and never second guessed my decision to quit again. Now that I am nicotine free physically and mentally, I am free to blog again.
2) Getting Fat
I’m sure there a lot worse things in life than fat face but when I have one, I can’t seem to think of any. A former skinny bitch, I used to pride myself on being able to use my sharp, protruding hip bone as a weapon. But now, the only bones I am dealing with are connected to fried chicken. Just kidding. I don’t eat that anymore because I’m on a diet. A “I ain’t eating nothing till I loose this weight” diet. So now that I am no longer eating all day like it’s going out of style, I am free to blog again.
3) I Met a Boy…Named Vinny
Sure, consistent sex kept me busy but it was more so the preparation for consistent sex. Shaving everyday plus doing my hair plus picking out the perfect outfit (+ accessories) for dinner took up a lot of time. And when I wasn’t doing those things I was thinking about doing those things. But now that we’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend and I know he’s not going anywhere if I accidentally forget to shave my knees, I am free to blog again.
In conclusion, I am free to blog again. And I will. So stay tuned for stories about funerals, tow truck drivers and my new love for brand new babies. It’ll be fun ya’ll so get comfy and stay awhile.