this is me. i write this shit.
daniel: he doesn’t go to parties – parties go to him. enjoys bird watching. unemployed. info straight up from his eHarmony profile. must be true.
val: enjoys making color-coded spreadsheats. the highlight of her day is highlighting her day. harbors illegal immigrants.
zohra: professional rock hurler on account of being from afghanistan. raging alcoholic. will trick you into marriage with a single dance and three claps.
vinny: fact nerd. especially when it comes to your mom. rides a bike. don’t expect him to stop by if he’s in the neighborhood. isn’t allowed in parks.