Part of my job entails me doing sophisticated analysis of website data. This analysis involves how many people visit sites, what they look at and for how long, what sites they came from and where else they go after they leave. I study the words you use to search for products and then how much money you spend once you find said products. People think there is a recession. Not online.
We know everything about you.
And then we target you.
With pretty ads.
But that’s not the point.
The point is that obviously I’m tracking this blog because I can’t help it. This is what I know about you.
Your IP Address
Your Internet Provider
Date and Time of Visit
Length of Visit
Whether you’re returning or you’re a chick virgin
And this isn’t even the deluxe version of this tracking. Because if it was the deluxe version, I’d be able to download it all in Excel and make a Pivot with your information and sell it to registered sex offenders. I love to pivot. And registered sex offenders.
Anywho, this was my way of saying thank you for reading. I’m not that good with words and so I’m sure it came out all wrong.