So this kid Rodrigo. I met him when I worked at Track and we’ve been likethis ever since. Rodrigo is a cool boy. He enjoys sneakers, fancy pens, and writes for a blog called Origin of Cotton. He posts shit about mens fashion, cool art, stuff he thinks is ugly and so on. Recently this boy Rodrigo wrote a post about me. I believe he did it because he wants to be added as a contributor and while I appreciate the efforts, the answer is still no. But I love him and his blog anyways and so read on to learn about his drug business, thoughts on slavery and…other stuff probably not about what he wants me to be talking about.
that chick: your blog is called origin of cotton. are you trying to make a statement about slavery?
rodrigo: ‘origin of cotton’ is one of jean michel basquiat’s artworks. being as he is my idol and he prefaced a lot of things in his work (the internet, sampling, trip hop) i thought it would be perfect to name the blog that. he was making a statement on slavery. also, since one of the things i cover is fashion it made sense as well.
TC: you say that i used to steal your nice pens. well why did you leave them out like that if you didn’t want me to steal them?
R: i should have electrified them so every time you tried to grab it you would get shocked.
TC: what is the primary goal of your blog?
R: expose people to things i think are cool and uncool, IMO. write about things i care about. become a contributor for this blog, i forget the name…. hehe)
TC: you once joked that my jew tattoo said “for sale.” do you still feel this way.
R: yeah you are a total sell out.
TC: what do you do for fun.
R: focus! dianasan. what does this have to do with my blog? but ok, surf the waters of the internet, play fifa 09, play soccer and basketball
TC: do you think global warming is a real thing or just a marketing scheme used to perpetuate fear so that we buy more hybrid cars and “green” stuff.
R: you’re such a schlamiel! again nothing to do with my blog. you totally lost focus after the fourth question, bubbala. Haha. global warming is both a marketing scheme (like the whole metro sexual thing was just a way to sell face cream to dudes) and a real thing (the polar ice caps are melting, which doesn’t explain why its still cold at the end of march but oh well)
TC: speaking of green, your last name is salazar and so therefore you must be a drug dealer. is this an accurate assumption?
R: i’m as much a drug dealer as you are a russian mobster with vodka and deruny breath. das vedanya muthafuckas!
TC: on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most, how offended are you?
R: 6 to 9
TC: what is your favorite number and why?
R: 69. earmuffs!
TC: isn’t it weird being interviewed when you’re so used to being the interviewer?
R: nah, i got interviewed by thatchickfrombk.com. put that @#$ on my tombstone! (the tombstone pizza, not the slab of concrete over my dead body).